The Blog is Dead, Long Live the Blog
August 29th 2006 11:13
Category: No Category
Yes, indeed, there's going to be a few changes around here. Welcome to the new world of Worldnews.net.au, posted by me, BenP. How are you doing? I hope, on this page, to educate, inform and entertain. If I can slip in a reference to interesting fish now and then, I'll do that too. I do hope you'll drop in from time to time to share it all with me. If you do, I'll be your friend, I promise.
With all that in mind, I would like to kick off my contribution to this seething mass of opinion, conjecture, invective and fruity, pungent odours we call commentariat with a few remarks on a subject that has been much exercising my mind of late, with regard to recent events reported on in the Australian media, but one which affects the whole gosh dang planet.
There's been a lot in the news lately about Vietnam, remembering our brave fighting men, righting wrongs of past generations etc. But there's been something missing from the coverage. Not a small thing, mind you. A big thing. The great unspeakable truth about the whole sorry business, the proverbial elephant in the room, the rhinoceros in the ointment, the okapi in the woodpile. The social "taboos" prevent us from speaking aloud about it. EVERYone knows this uncomfortable truth, but nobody ever has the intestinal fortitude to speak it aloud, to give voice to this unpalatble but obvious and undeniable fact. Well, that ends now. I guess I have to be the one to step up. Here, then, finally, is the TRUTH about the Vietnam War:
It never happened.
Come on, people. We're all adults here. Let's admit it. You know it, I know it. The whole thing is a big scam. The Vietnam War? The VIETNAM WAR? As IF! It's a fantasy!
Listen to the names of the "battles" in this so-called "war". The Battle of "Long Tan"? Pfft, yeah, THAT sounds convincing. Oh yeah, I saw my best friend's arm blown off at the Battle of Slai Phuc. It was awful. Almost as bad as when we were pinned down under heavy fire at Hooj Wang.
Da Nang? Oh come ON! Seen da Nang? Dat's one big nang! Couldn't they have at least TRIED to come up with place names that sounded like real places, and not a tour guide from Carry On Up The Orient?
Wake up people!
Supposedly Vietnam "defined a generation". Supposedly it was the central theme of '60s culture. But take a LOOK at '60s culture. Listen to the most popular songs from the period when this "war" was supposed to be going on. Hey Jude, for example. Is it called Hey Ho Chi Minh? No! Did the Beach Boys sing "I wish they all could be Indochina girls"? No! In fact, the first and only song ever written about Vietnam was Goodnight Saigon, which was recorded in 1982 by Billy Joel, and betrays its fictitious origins with the line "They sent us Playboys, they gave us Bob Hope". This exposes the story as a lie; Bob Hope died in 1903, and before 1974, what is now known as Playboy magazine was published under the title Monthly Swelling For Men.
Look at the most popular movies of the '60s. Is Vietnam mentioned once in Mary Poppins? Does the magical nanny sing that a spoonful of sugar will help Charlie go down? What about the Sound of Music? Does Captain von Trapp refuse the order to join the navy to sail to the Gulf of Tonkin? Butch and Sundance never mention Vietnam; in fact, throughout all their celluloid adventures, there is a distinct atmosphere of indifference towards Asia in general. And perhaps most telling of all: in the all-time classic The Great Race, starring Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Natalie Wood, the heroes NEVER ONCE DRIVE THROUGH VIETNAM. Why not? Why waste such a narratively convenient opportunity to address what we are told was THE burning issue of the day?
Is it really possible that ALL of the greatest creative minds of the time completely neglected to include this "war" in any of their work? That they just IGNORED it? Please.
And here is the clincher: Look at a map. An atlas, a globe, any old world map. Look for Vietnam. Look closely. Notice anything unusual?
That's right: IT'S NOT THERE.
Vietnam DOES NOT EXIST.
There is NO country called "Vietnam". There never WAS. And yet people blithely accept this geographical lie year after year, like embarrassed relations ignoring an aged uncle's alcoholism.
Go on, look. Run your finger down Asia. There's China, there's Japan, Korea, Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia...oops, we're down to New Zealand! And Vietnam has yet to pop its head up. What is it, some kind of magic disappearing country? A sort of giant southeast Asian magic eye picture that can only be seen if not looked at directly? Is it like Brigadoon, a country that only appears every hundred years or when the Doors are rereleasing their back catalogue? Where is it? Where is this mythical "Vietnam"? It seems to be gone! Oh, oh, oh, maybe it blew up in the "war".
So I ask you, Normie Rowe and Oliver Stone and John Kerry and all you collaborators in this duping of the world, when will you come clean? On our side, the side of honesty and truth, we have overwhelming evidence. On your side, you have only a few grainy photographs that have clearly been Photoshopped to stick young Asian children's head onto pictures of Nicole Richie.
It's time to come clean. Vietnam never happened. Only when we admit this to ourselves can we move forward as a people and as a society. Join the campaign. The truth must out!
See you next time.
-BenP
objieb@people.net.au">Email me!
With all that in mind, I would like to kick off my contribution to this seething mass of opinion, conjecture, invective and fruity, pungent odours we call commentariat with a few remarks on a subject that has been much exercising my mind of late, with regard to recent events reported on in the Australian media, but one which affects the whole gosh dang planet.
There's been a lot in the news lately about Vietnam, remembering our brave fighting men, righting wrongs of past generations etc. But there's been something missing from the coverage. Not a small thing, mind you. A big thing. The great unspeakable truth about the whole sorry business, the proverbial elephant in the room, the rhinoceros in the ointment, the okapi in the woodpile. The social "taboos" prevent us from speaking aloud about it. EVERYone knows this uncomfortable truth, but nobody ever has the intestinal fortitude to speak it aloud, to give voice to this unpalatble but obvious and undeniable fact. Well, that ends now. I guess I have to be the one to step up. Here, then, finally, is the TRUTH about the Vietnam War:
It never happened.
Come on, people. We're all adults here. Let's admit it. You know it, I know it. The whole thing is a big scam. The Vietnam War? The VIETNAM WAR? As IF! It's a fantasy!
Listen to the names of the "battles" in this so-called "war". The Battle of "Long Tan"? Pfft, yeah, THAT sounds convincing. Oh yeah, I saw my best friend's arm blown off at the Battle of Slai Phuc. It was awful. Almost as bad as when we were pinned down under heavy fire at Hooj Wang.
Wake up people!
Supposedly Vietnam "defined a generation". Supposedly it was the central theme of '60s culture. But take a LOOK at '60s culture. Listen to the most popular songs from the period when this "war" was supposed to be going on. Hey Jude, for example. Is it called Hey Ho Chi Minh? No! Did the Beach Boys sing "I wish they all could be Indochina girls"? No! In fact, the first and only song ever written about Vietnam was Goodnight Saigon, which was recorded in 1982 by Billy Joel, and betrays its fictitious origins with the line "They sent us Playboys, they gave us Bob Hope". This exposes the story as a lie; Bob Hope died in 1903, and before 1974, what is now known as Playboy magazine was published under the title Monthly Swelling For Men.
Look at the most popular movies of the '60s. Is Vietnam mentioned once in Mary Poppins? Does the magical nanny sing that a spoonful of sugar will help Charlie go down? What about the Sound of Music? Does Captain von Trapp refuse the order to join the navy to sail to the Gulf of Tonkin? Butch and Sundance never mention Vietnam; in fact, throughout all their celluloid adventures, there is a distinct atmosphere of indifference towards Asia in general. And perhaps most telling of all: in the all-time classic The Great Race, starring Tony Curtis, Jack Lemmon and Natalie Wood, the heroes NEVER ONCE DRIVE THROUGH VIETNAM. Why not? Why waste such a narratively convenient opportunity to address what we are told was THE burning issue of the day?
Is it really possible that ALL of the greatest creative minds of the time completely neglected to include this "war" in any of their work? That they just IGNORED it? Please.
And here is the clincher: Look at a map. An atlas, a globe, any old world map. Look for Vietnam. Look closely. Notice anything unusual?
That's right: IT'S NOT THERE.
Vietnam DOES NOT EXIST.
There is NO country called "Vietnam". There never WAS. And yet people blithely accept this geographical lie year after year, like embarrassed relations ignoring an aged uncle's alcoholism.
Go on, look. Run your finger down Asia. There's China, there's Japan, Korea, Laos, Cambodia, Malaysia...oops, we're down to New Zealand! And Vietnam has yet to pop its head up. What is it, some kind of magic disappearing country? A sort of giant southeast Asian magic eye picture that can only be seen if not looked at directly? Is it like Brigadoon, a country that only appears every hundred years or when the Doors are rereleasing their back catalogue? Where is it? Where is this mythical "Vietnam"? It seems to be gone! Oh, oh, oh, maybe it blew up in the "war".
So I ask you, Normie Rowe and Oliver Stone and John Kerry and all you collaborators in this duping of the world, when will you come clean? On our side, the side of honesty and truth, we have overwhelming evidence. On your side, you have only a few grainy photographs that have clearly been Photoshopped to stick young Asian children's head onto pictures of Nicole Richie.
It's time to come clean. Vietnam never happened. Only when we admit this to ourselves can we move forward as a people and as a society. Join the campaign. The truth must out!
See you next time.
-BenP
objieb@people.net.au">Email me!
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