A Dialogue On Topical Matters
February 20th 2007 18:06
Category: No Category
Archie: You know, Hubert, I just don't understand this "global warming" they're all talking about.
Hubert (with a strong Cornish accent): Well, Archie, it's perfectly simple. Imagine that the Earth is like a huge basketball, and imagine that God is Hakeem Olajuwon.
Archie: Of course!
Hubert: So you, see if you keep on attempting suicide in your garage, it's terrible for the environment. Do you like polar bears?
Archie: I love them as I do my own father.
Hubert: Here, try one of mine.
Archie: Mmm, these polar bears are hard to light.
Hubert: So you see, the main point is, we must introduce carbon trading immediately.
Archie: Hubert, I think I understand what you're saying, but spell it out for me a little more.
Hubert: Well, you see this pencil?
Archie: Yes, I do. Oddly erotic, isn't it?
Hubert: Yes indeed. You see, this pencil is made out of carbon. And so is this diamond.
Archie: That diamond looks very hard.
Hubert: Patience! Now, what carbon trading is all about is, we give this pencil to China, and in return they give us all the diamonds we can fit in our comically large trousers.
Archie: How cunning.
Hubert: Yes. Then we hit them with sticks, and thus the polar ice caps don't melt, and we will not be forced to descend to the level of common terns.
Archie: Hubert, is there a way to disseminate this message to the people?
Hubert: Yes, there is, Archie. Join me now in setting my sober warnings of impending environmental catastrophe to a slinky samba beat.
Archie: Ay ay ay, yes we gotta get those timbermills down yah!
Hubert: That's the spirit, old buttock-chops!
Hubert (with a strong Cornish accent): Well, Archie, it's perfectly simple. Imagine that the Earth is like a huge basketball, and imagine that God is Hakeem Olajuwon.
Archie: Of course!
Hubert: So you, see if you keep on attempting suicide in your garage, it's terrible for the environment. Do you like polar bears?
Archie: I love them as I do my own father.
Hubert: Here, try one of mine.
Archie: Mmm, these polar bears are hard to light.
Hubert: So you see, the main point is, we must introduce carbon trading immediately.
Archie: Hubert, I think I understand what you're saying, but spell it out for me a little more.
Hubert: Well, you see this pencil?
Archie: Yes, I do. Oddly erotic, isn't it?
Hubert: Yes indeed. You see, this pencil is made out of carbon. And so is this diamond.
Archie: That diamond looks very hard.
Hubert: Patience! Now, what carbon trading is all about is, we give this pencil to China, and in return they give us all the diamonds we can fit in our comically large trousers.
Archie: How cunning.
Hubert: Yes. Then we hit them with sticks, and thus the polar ice caps don't melt, and we will not be forced to descend to the level of common terns.
Archie: Hubert, is there a way to disseminate this message to the people?
Hubert: Yes, there is, Archie. Join me now in setting my sober warnings of impending environmental catastrophe to a slinky samba beat.
Archie: Ay ay ay, yes we gotta get those timbermills down yah!
Hubert: That's the spirit, old buttock-chops!
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