Play Sport: Have Fun, Get Fit, and Don't Be Killed By International Terrorists
October 8th 2006 14:08
Category: No Category
Some of the acquaintances of this blog, including members of this blog's own family, have sometimes questioned the value of sporting endeavour.
"Is not professional sport," these acquaintances rhetorically wheeze between sips of flabby un-Australian wine, "merely a way for semi-literate, thuggish buffoons to be paid astronomical sums of money in return for distracting the populace from the real issues facing society by knocking bits of leather around fields and chasing after each other like a bunch of deranged seagulls?"
Harsh but eloquent, my acquaintances.
And to tell the truth, at times I am hard put to refute them. As emotionally invested in sport as I am, as many tears as I have shed over the Sydney Swans, the Balmain Tigers, and Craig McDermott over the years, I have a real problem finding solid logical defences for the proliferation in our world of professional sports. After all, what IS the point? Why should I care? Why should I cheer for the success of a group of men who don't actually come from the geographical area they supposedly represent at a game which was just basically made-up anyway? WHY? And even by the stupid standards of sport-watching, how can I possibly defend the widespread practice of paying money to watch cars driving in circles while actually cheering and waving flags for massive multinational auto-manufacturing corporations?
I still may not have the answers to all these questions. But what I DO have is irrefutable proof that those spend their lives in athletic endeavour have an undeniable advantage over those who don't.
My proof? The news this week that Al-Qaeda terrorists planned to use sarin gas to kill the Australian and English cricket teams at Edgbaston last year, only to be dissuaed by a cricket-lover among the group and undertake the London bombings instead.
So, let's review our choices in life:
a) Spend hours in the nets, learn to hold the seam upright, practise your forward defensive shot and develop catlike reflexes in the slips. End result: Play for your country and do not get murdered by deadly gas attacks.
b) Devote your life to art, music, philanthropy, politics and the corporate world and work hard at engaging with the really important factors in life. End result: Get blown into little pieces while on the train to work.
Yeah, that's what I thought. The sporting life not looking so pointless NOW, is it, eggheads?
See you next time.
Got any other examples of how striving for the pinnacle of glory in ballgames can bring tangible benefits in your life? Email me!
"Is not professional sport," these acquaintances rhetorically wheeze between sips of flabby un-Australian wine, "merely a way for semi-literate, thuggish buffoons to be paid astronomical sums of money in return for distracting the populace from the real issues facing society by knocking bits of leather around fields and chasing after each other like a bunch of deranged seagulls?"
And to tell the truth, at times I am hard put to refute them. As emotionally invested in sport as I am, as many tears as I have shed over the Sydney Swans, the Balmain Tigers, and Craig McDermott over the years, I have a real problem finding solid logical defences for the proliferation in our world of professional sports. After all, what IS the point? Why should I care? Why should I cheer for the success of a group of men who don't actually come from the geographical area they supposedly represent at a game which was just basically made-up anyway? WHY? And even by the stupid standards of sport-watching, how can I possibly defend the widespread practice of paying money to watch cars driving in circles while actually cheering and waving flags for massive multinational auto-manufacturing corporations?
I still may not have the answers to all these questions. But what I DO have is irrefutable proof that those spend their lives in athletic endeavour have an undeniable advantage over those who don't.
My proof? The news this week that Al-Qaeda terrorists planned to use sarin gas to kill the Australian and English cricket teams at Edgbaston last year, only to be dissuaed by a cricket-lover among the group and undertake the London bombings instead.
So, let's review our choices in life:
a) Spend hours in the nets, learn to hold the seam upright, practise your forward defensive shot and develop catlike reflexes in the slips. End result: Play for your country and do not get murdered by deadly gas attacks.
b) Devote your life to art, music, philanthropy, politics and the corporate world and work hard at engaging with the really important factors in life. End result: Get blown into little pieces while on the train to work.
Yeah, that's what I thought. The sporting life not looking so pointless NOW, is it, eggheads?
See you next time.
Got any other examples of how striving for the pinnacle of glory in ballgames can bring tangible benefits in your life? Email me!
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